I can't say i like NS
But i can't say i hate it too.

I realised that i hated NS in the first place because it prevented me from certain things i wanted so bad. I guess i would not have hated it so bad if ''they'' let me defer it and go overseas to pursue my studies. That would have made it so much better, that would clear alot of doubts and worries in my head right now. Like how i would start studying again, can i keep the momentum going like i used to in secondary school. My main conern is that i will lose interest in my studies, that is why i'm going to embark on a part-time dipolma soon, hopefully.

As a result of not getting what i wanted i blamed everything else and said alot of stupid things to make myself feel better. Of course it did not work. I was still so bitter and angry. So for the record, i only hated NS because i wanted to study first and maybe be with someone at that time.

One good thing has come out of this though, it has showed me how I DO NOT WANT MY WORKING LIFE TO BE. It is so monotonous right now, I hate those type of jobs.You just do your part over and over and over again each day and go home and wake up and over and over and over again. Its like you are working to live, there is no excitment in that. I want to live to work. That makes everything the more interesting and challenging. I admire people who hold those type of jobs. Might be hard and stressful , yea, but at least it's different and keeps you going . That is the type of person i am. I can't keep still and waste my brain away. But then again, not every will be so lucky to get what they want.

Life's got to be more than just sitting down and doing the same stuff over and over again. I WANT A LIFE THAT IS MINE.

''And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.''
-Abraham Lincoln